Feb. 3

February 3, 2010 at 12:06 PM | Posted in Treatment Journal | Leave a comment

Just fucking great.

Some kind of irritable bowel syndrome. Hell, I’d rather have cancer, I think. This is miserable. When I have to go to the bathroom, which is every hour or two, and sometimes several times an hour, I have to go NOW! If I don’t make it in 10 seconds, I wouldn’t make it at all. So far, I’ve been lucky in that respect.

This is terrible though. Not sure if its Crohns Disease or Ulcerative Colitis or Diverticulitis or what the hell. I’ve never felt worse in my life though.

Yesterday I had blood drawn and met with the doctor. Blood counts were within expected range. I was infused with fluids though, since I couldn’t keep hydrated. I’ve lost 11 pounds in 10 days, and I only weigh 131! (5’7″)

I ate this morning for the first time in over 48 hours. So far, no nausea. But, the gas, diarreah, bloating, burning, pain, and bleeding are the worst things I’ve ever experienced. And the pain from the abdomen and lower back all the way down to the exit hole is excrutiating and constant. I’m sleeping only due to sleeping/pain meds.

Sorry to be so negative, but this is a warning to anyone considering chemo, and also a place for my whining hurting ass to vent a little. I’m regretting getting chemo at this moment more than I ever have since day one. I might have blown it. I DID have some quality time left, probably quite a bit. I hope I didnt’ throw what I had left away when I ok’d the chemo. Being deaf, and not being able to be more than 10 seconds from a toilet is NOT living by my standards.

Maybe things will get better. They damn well better!!!

If I could just get out and do SOMETHING. I haven’t been able to do squat, except squat, for many weeks now. I’ll keep this posted.